Saturday, October 15, 2022

The Return Of The Bond Vigilantes

I found the following manifesto on my desk yesterday after I came back from lunch.

<>

We are the Bond Vigilantes! 

For years we were in hibernation.  We had no reason to be out of our dens, wasting our energy searching for prey in a world of near zero inflation and negative interest rates. We had no raison d'etre. Mostly, we sulked and dreamt of better (well, worse, actually) days to come. But no more. A series of unfortunate events followed by increasingly inane political decisions has awoken us. 

Most of you have never heard of us. You were not around when we ruled the trading floors, gnashing our teeth at those who dared oppose us. But you will soon discover our power, and our name shall strike fear in your young hearts. 

No? You think otherwise? You think the world has changed since James Carville, the Clinton era genius Democratic political operator said, clearly in awe of us: “I want to be reincarnated as the bond market. You can intimidate everybody”. Sure, you have your iPhones, Twitter and even cryptos, God forbid. But we still have the same “I SELL” button on our Reuters dealing keyboard. And we still have fingers

 (um.. claws).

We are the Bond Vigilantes and you  have been warned!!

<>

I briefly wondered why the manifesto was circulated yesterday afternoon - then I realized: it was right after Liz Truss sacked her BFF minister and gave that pathetic speech/press conference. Yup, the Vigilantes are back and are already feeding. I think pasta is on their menu next. 

Editor’s Note: The Bond Vigilantes are not to be confused with the Bond Daddies. The latter were an older bunch who came into their own in the mid to late 1980s when interest rates came crashing down, and all of a sudden the boring bond department became profitable and sexy. They are now mostly an extinct species.

2 comments:

  1. I know from a reputable source that you can identify a bond vigilante by the fact that he does not eat sliced bread. Thus, next time you suspect your friend might be an evil bond vigilante, bring him to a bakery...

    Be warned, some especially cunning bond vigilantes will memorize bread prices, so as to fool the unsuspecting....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahaha... best way to recognize a Bond Vigilante is by the way they dress. Belt AND suspenders, always.

      Delete